Step 5: Making Your Pronouncement
When you speak, speak slowly, as though you’re coming to a conclusion. Then break out with it. “I taste a hint of blackberry just at the finish.” Either people will agree with you, or they won’t. If they agree with you, great! They don’t taste shit, either. You can now tell them you’re catching a splash of Strawberry Go-Gurt in the fourth and down, and they’ll just nod and stare. You have bolloxed a bunch of clueless snobs; take a bow! If they don’t agree, then frown a little. They won’t ever say, “Bullshit! You fucker!” Instead, they’ll say, “Really? I don’t taste that….”
Notes
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